Love is a battlefield

OK, “love” is stretching it since I think Tinder is more about fucking than love. But it’s a battlefield nonetheless. We’ve been busy since we put up our couple profile last month. We decided to have a couple profile rather than one for just Maestro because it was too much of a … well … battlefield to tell women that he’s interested in women who want to play. Play with me, specifically. And given all the miscommunication over Chelsea (which led to us having to go into relationship damage control mode a month ago, and which still hasn’t been resolved to our satisfaction, and which I will expand upon in another post because there’s a lot to learn from that experience about communication and consent in open relationships), it was just easier to be up-front about our intentions.

We were pleasantly surprised by the initial reaction – about 4-5 matches within the first few days! But have any of them turned into an actual play session? Nope. The closest is Desiree, with whom we played at the kink party last weekend. But despite the fact that we’re all into playing together, her schedule is crazy busy. And Leila – we had a quick visit at her place that didn’t result in any playing. We’re still communicating, but we haven’t clearly established that she’s into playing, even though we chatted about sex for days.

And that’s the thing about Tinder. You can chat forever with some women, and even agree to meet. But arranging an actual date and having them stick to the date and not cancel is the tricky part. Maestro has had at least a half dozen women agree to meet and then completely disappear when it got down to agreeing to a time and place. And that’s what we’ve found even with the women who want to play with a couple. They will agree to meet, but not put any effort into offering a day or time, and the onus is on us to keep pursuing. I’m learning now how frustrating it can be for men to find women to date! I can’t believe the number of women who insist on being pursued, who treat a date like a job interview, and who, quite honestly, are just rude and disrespectful. And I can’t direct my confusion to Tinder, because Tinder isn’t the problem. The problem is how messed up and fractured the entire process is for men and women to date. It’s a complex societal issue that there’s a basic mistrust between the sexes.

I place a lot of blame on the rise of gender feminism again, which was huge in the late 1980s/early 1990s when I was an impressionable Political Science undergrad taking courses in feminism. The women I encountered actually turned me off of feminism I was so disgusted by their ideas that men are the enemy, men are the patriarchy that seeks to push women down. And that the only recourse for women is to treat men like shit. I met many women who felt that any woman who wasn’t a lesbian was submitting herself to the patriarchy. Now that’s major bullshit to indoctrinate young women with! And I’m seeing it all over again with the faux rape culture movement, and the comments and attitude of women on dating sites.

There’s oh so much more I can write about the ills of gender feminism versus individualist feminism, but I’ll save that for another forum and another time because that’s taking this particular post (and this particular rant) down a rabbit hole with no end. Let’s just say Auntie is as passionate about those issues as she is about fucking! And hey – they’re not unrelated. Most women aren’t getting the fucking they need and deserve because the views put out there about sex and relationships by mass media claiming to be our cultural signposts are wrong. More women and men need to have more quality orgasms and that won’t happen until people start listening and talking honestly about sex. (Rant over … for now!)