All tied up and stuck in the city … or when I realized my (shibari) model dreams

We just discovered shibari, the art of Japanese rope bondage, a few days ago. Weeks after we started playing around with it. So how did I end up being Maestro’s shibari model? Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, another variation of 50 shades of who-fuckin’-cares. Another middle-aged woman discovers bondage – yawn!! (Confession – didn’t read the books, and only skipped through the first 2 movies to find the sex scenes.)

My experience with BDSM/bondage before now? Not much – I liked getting slapped on my ass a bit, but that’s about it. Nothing rougher. I liked looking at photos though, and I know from anal sex about walking the line between pleasure and pain. But the first night we spent together, I asked him to slap me. And he did, hard, twice across my face. I have never asked a lover to slap me before and never even fantasized about it. So where the #%^$ did that come from? Maybe because I was so used to be the alpha in previous relationships, the one in control – in that moment I trusted him enough to surrender that control. Maybe I needed to feel something … ANYTHING after being a sexless zombie for so long.

“You know I have your back.”

How often did we say this to each other at work? Countless times. Before and after every wasteful team meeting. At lunch. That trust between us just carried on.

So a couple of slaps led to experimenting with a blindfold, spreader bar, whips, some gentle biting (got a few teeth marks on my right ankle), and restraints (old ties at first). He bought me collar and a leash. It’s beautiful. When I wore it out shopping a sales clerk at Michael’s complimented me on my choker. I wear it because I trust him. To show our commitment. Some people prefer sparkly golden bands on left hands. We have my collar and leash. We don’t play with the toys all at once, and sometimes we don’t play with them at all.

We started tying me up with paracord just for fun. We had some leftover from building the spreader bar. And after taking photos of the first few times, we discovered some beautiful BW photos! And I learned to love my body, cellulite and pimples included. And that’s why I love it. It’s art we create together. When we’re naked.