Knowing me, knowing you
A-haaaa. (C’mon ABBA fans, you know I just had to add that in.) This post isn’t about ABBA or songs about heartbreak, however. (Although I have enough experience about both to write pages.) No, this post is about knowing how you masturbate.
I’ve been reviewing our porn videos this past week. I’m past the point of feeling slightly uncomfortable or weird watching and listening to us fuck. (By the way, the audio is way more personal for me than the video. I can distance myself from the images, but my moans and screams are intensely personal. They take me back to the experience.) I’m now at the point of dissecting them to make them better, but also appreciating all the work Maestro did to produce such high quality. The lighting makes both of us look beautiful, especially our skin. I think we both glow. And that’s all knowledge of lighting.
One video in particular stood out for me – the one where I masturbate on my back for the first 3-4 minutes. No props or costumes, nothing special. It’s the way I masturbate while not on camera – flat on my back, legs spread open with my right hand on my pussy. The camera is positioned perfectly to see my right hand at work. The thing about masturbating is that unless you’re doing it in front of a mirror, you can’t see what your hand(s) are doing. And I didn’t ever use a mirror. So this is the first time I could see what exactly was going on down there.
And what did I see? I could see my pussy getting swollen and puffier. My clit grew larger and larger, popping out like a shiny red cherry. I had 3-4 movies in rhythmic succession – squeezing my clit with three fingers, rolling them down to slip them just inside my pussy, then splitting my fingers apart and squeezing my labia. Over and over again until I dug my heels into the bed, tossed my head back, and started moaning.
It was … fascinating. I actually got aroused watching me masturbate. Which is a weird meta-experience, especially since I’m writing about it now. To make it even more meta, I would have to get off on reading this post – masturbate to my writing about watching a video of me masturbating. Huh. And then to wrap it all up in a nice meta-bow – I could write an auto-ethnography about writing this blog. Which is actually in the works.
I think of it as an educational experience. Being with Maestro has made me play with myself differently, so it’s like learning by watching, then learning by doing. And then having a nice little cum (watching me cum)!
