Stop your sobbing

This one was supposed to be all about sex …

Maybe not. Maestro returned from his date with Chelsea all gushy and happy, telling me stories about kissing her in the parking lot and I tried to make light if it. Laughing it off and joking that I’m envious about him having a good first date. But it upset me. And I’m confused.

This is where I get frustrated with Maestro. He can’t put himself in my shoes, so the conversation went in unsatisfying circles. We say we want to play with couples but we only play with women, that he dates first. Is that a big deal? We agreed moving forward it’s going to change and we don’t date solo anymore. It was a big deal to me last night, but of course I had to throw in other issues to obfuscate. Maybe because it was two nights in a row – solo with Jolene and then solo with Chelsea. Both later than planned nights.

I thought about leaving just to experience the fun of being single. And I still have doubts about being in an open relationship. Sometimes I wish he hadn’t told me he’d break my heart because deep down I’m just waiting for it to happen. Is this it? Is this the incident? Is she the one? Is it a she? What is it?

I hope this is hormones talking, or maybe another morning without enough sleep, because more times than not I do love him. Just not as much now, unfortunately. I just feel hurt.

So the sex … I turned my brain off last night long enough to enjoy a really good cum. So Chelsea got to flirt with Maestro and I got the orgasm, the goodnight and good morning.

My life is good right now. But a caution for women! Know what you’re getting into in an open relationship before consenting to one. It’s not for everyone. And I’m still figuring out if it’s for me.

So I’ve gotta deal with it. I need to, in the words of Chrissie Hynde, stop your sobbing.